um...you like it? Victoria?...😅

I can't see the screen for the tears in my eyes. Or speak for the lump in my throat. It's absolutely stunning, and I'm so touched, I don't

know what to say. Thank you, Hayomi. I love you; you're a true friend, and you're always in my heart and thoughts. 💜

I'm literally just sitting here, staring at the interlinking hearts, wondering how I got so lucky to have you in my life. Our friendship is

one of the best things I have in my life; it's like a gift from the universe, so I found a special heart. 💝

like my All post and follow me please please please please please please 💔🥺

@Angel i don't knw if u liked the color but i'm happy ur happy😊

@𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐧-01_♛ check out

Love the colors--love everything about it 💜💝

@Angel 🤍❤️🖤

@Angel i am totally confused (fuck me for being dyslexic) i couldn't understand why would scream atqq me? when did u scream at me

IXM CONFUSED LIKE SOME BITCH!(i ain't screaming at you Victoria)

💜🖤🤍

Ykily, right? 💜💝

@Angel i some how whas bale to understand the "ykily" 😅 for som reason i read it first as "ikling"

@Angel i would have left this app if it wouldnt be for Ash and You, i have Sona on pinterest but i lost ash's contact on pinterest

@Angel i dont know what other app u are on so i am still on incolor, otherwise i would have deleted incolor(it takes up lots of space)

@Angel my ex.. was different i endd up being the submissive while dating her and thats when i reallized i likedbeing a bottom

@Angel but i still have the ass mind in me making me the top since Ash is younger more sensitive then me😐

@Angel my ex cheated on me it mesed up my head, *i love her, but i hate her* its something stuck in my head

@Angel i'm starting to hate my classmates even more now, i wanna yell at them all yet i still laugh with them with their jokes

@Angel if i'm telling you too much and you feel anoyed by me keep on dumping my problems on you then i'll stop

@Angel i dont know who else to tell my feelings to it seems i only have you who wouldnt judge me

@Angel you know i love you till the degree i'll cut myself for you if you tell me to

@Angel if i'd see any animal in danger i'd help. i am an animal person i hate animal abuse, i have a rabbit i'd be so scared if my bunny

@Angel would be in such a situation. once we were cutting his naisl he flinched and we accidentally cutted too much so his paw bleeded

@Angel i felt so bad that night i cried for him

@Angel i have to say that i give your husband a huge amount of respect for risking his life to save a lil innocent creature

@Angel i respect everyone but usually its pretend cause i am surrounded with stubborn or annoying people

@Angel i only respect them so nothing bad comes to my mother

@Angel i'd do whatever i want, i just get held back knowing the consequences that could come to my mother

@Angel otherwise i'd be a lose person, i wouldnt care about anything,i would have been already drinking like fuck

@Angel i'd run away from my home and live my own life. but i dont i sit quiet like an idiot who got their tongue cutted off

@Angel i can't stand my pastself i i use to be hell cringy it disgusts me till today

@Angel but somehow me being cringy gave me a lot of friends...who i trusted, now look at me having only 1

@Angel person who i can trust without being scared they'll judge me or ask any deeper questions about it

i'm pretty sure you know who i'm talking about❤️💜

about my book u said you use to be an editor, i wanted to sell my books when i get older.. could you help me?(if you want)

@Angel i see..

@R.D i dont know what to say. i am disappointed but not at you at my ex...

@R.D i see

@R.D i can't email you. my mom will find out everythibg then i wont be able to talk with you ever again (maybe)

@R.D i wanna hear your suggestions about my 2 chapter

@R.D i don't like dark humor it makes me cry cause it scares the shit out of me(sorry just saying the truth)

@R.D but still i do sometimes do dark humor then i start cringing at myself or hating myself(which is all the time)

@R.D i'll wait for your texts tomorrow i'll be patient (i'm very patient to be honest i just realized it when i was getting yelled at)

@R.D my mom doesn't know about incolor being a social media app she doesnt know i am talking with ppl online..

@R.D if i would tell her in the beginning i wouldnt be here today

@R.D i...i feel guilty for lying but also happy.. i wouldnt have you, sona, Ashter if i wouldnt write to anybody online without telling

@R.D well cant really add an idea to your great suggestion but if ya want i can give you a spoiler

@R.D well in the end Giovanna(the assassin) will kill Valentino (the mafia boss) if you read the first chapter

that first chapter is somewhat will be in thhe end , Valentino's kast wish would be for Giovanna to tell him she loves him(V)

@R.D and original V killed Gio's daughter(Giovanna is older then Valentino 😅😅🤣) so Gio took revenge in the end

@R.D i idnt think much of it through just the most important plot

@R.D why V killed Gio's daughter(Clara) i still havent think of that yet

but maybe i'll make Clara cheat on V's brother(Alejandro) or something something idk about that piece

btw this book is 10000% 18+ it has mentioning of blood, səx scenes, cursing and some other violent sh!t

i told one of my friends about me loving a girl.. i'm kinda scared but i knew that friend ever since 5th grade and she is a quiet person

she doesnt talk much but.. i'm still scared everybody will find out idk what. the consequences are inmy country for dating smae s-x

i just looked online gay(men to men) is illegal and will be send to prison foor 3 years😐

lgtb+ would face widespread persecution in my country(idk what it means so i dont give q fuck i'm a human being i can be what i want)

should i date some one else till Ash comes back?(i feeL very lonely)

if i ate chocolate that has alcohol in it would it make me some what an alcoholic?

i have 6 names Val, Rose, Hayomi, Angel, Scarlett , and Ruby it weird i have so many names¿ which one should i choose!?

idk why am i asking u these questions maybe cause i know you'd give me a good answer

@R.D damn you guessed that right she did become cold after her daughter's death

@R.D Giovanna was the one killing Val in the end idk why u said Gia the one dying or maybe i didnt understand

i dont remember saying this but Gia was originally from an Italian mafia family but left to the spanish mafia blaming her twin

Giovanni(idk why i keft like making their bames like this) for the cause of her daughter's death

Gia wasnt there with her daughter when she died so Gia disnt really know how she died

Giovanni was with Clara when she died

i could change that or something idk maybe maybe aaah i'm confused.....

the book wont just show Giovanna's POV but also Val's aswell

eating chocolate with spirit....makes me fat? woman, i'm already fat as hell🥲

(the chocolate had spirit not liquor or is it the same?)

dont worry i wont date any one else i was just asking

i dont understand ia the capo strongest or the mafia boss?? and whats the stat for the underboss??

all i know is that theirs associates, soldiers, capo, underboss and mafia boss idk their states or ranks

i might start writing an other book other then last wish, i just cant find a title for it lots of plots are killing my brain right now

and my fav write from wattpad left so idk what to do much i'm reading other's books so break down this strange writer's block

@R.D yeah she knew and wasnt really happy about it😅

@R.D ok ok i wont start a new one...,

@R.D everything things good i'm happy she's happy we good loving each other around our gallerys

@R.D i see!

@R.D i see!

@R.D for a while i'm not geTtting anything in my head for the next chspter all i know is that the next chapter will be Val's POV..

@R.D yeah i'm fine.. just don't give a fuck about that post....

@R.D what i'm think is that Val's father would let Val become the leader cause of health issues not aging

@R.D but they just lied in order for the enemy not to use Val's father's health condition to kill Val's fahter easier

@R.D how's that sound?

@R.D btw Val doesnt only have a lil brother(15 years old[maybe i' not sure about his age]) Alejandro but also a lil sister

@R.D i'm thinking to make his sister's name... Victoria- just playing around i wouldnt put u in my book without permission or thots

@R.D one thing that is cool about Quotev is that i can see from which country people are reading my books in

@R.D and i always see one person from the U.S who reads my book so i know that person is u😅

@R.D so should i re write the second chapter and make Val's father dead?

@R.D look i didnt understand anything u said i feel too weak and dizzy for this at the moment i'll think of this an other time(sorry)

@R.D why would Val get killed by his own family if for spain?

@R.D ok fine why dont i change him to American?

@R.D ok would i die if i made Val in an American family/mafia?

@R.D i have NO idea what to write i do just dont know how to like 👏👏write it y'know what i mean?

@R.D what i want is ofc i will write Val's pov for the next chapter but i have no title for the next chapter i have a plot

@R.D For That exact chapter

@R.D i know i should tell u the plot but i'm quiet embarrassed to talk about it cause i'm thinking to shove a səx scene into it

@R.D i'm fine, i don't need you to worry about me...

@R.D u dont have to worry

@R.D i posted a new chapter take a look if ya want, i know i'm breaking a rule but i'm GONNA start a new book about ke and ash

@R.D we'll make a book i'll write the book, ash will help me with some plots and characters, it'll be fantasy

@R.D will have mafia involved (don'tblame me in sticking on to mafia like gum, i'm a mafia addict bitch) i'm thinking either i wi,

@R.D i will be a mafia boss or assassin, i asked ashton who she'll be i'm having thots of her replying as Veterinarian

@R.D there won' tbe any shitfull magic like being half human, or angels

@R.D idk what else to tell u, kinda mad- sad. my brain is dry after squeezing some words out of it to finish my new chapter

@R.D 👍...

@R.D calm down i'm leaving cuz i want to delete this app it takes way too much storage from my tablet and my tablet has very

@R.D little storage from the beginning anyways i only need three people and thats Ash, Sona and u

@R.D i got Sona on pinterest i dont need incolor to chat with her anywas i'm not chatting with her so much shes busy

@R.D i have Ash on craft addons, i can actually HEAR her voice i was so happy to her hear voice for the first time

@R.D and hey i'm on quotev we can talk there and on wattpad

@R.D and the best thing is i dont need to download Pinterest/ Quotev/ Wattpad to chat with ppl

@R.D only craft addons i have to download, but uts much smaller space then incolor

@R.D and i'm kinda tired of Millie a lot, my heart aches(seriously it hurts for real) whenever i see Millie bullying ppl

@R.D ESPECIALLY Ash

@R.D idk how would i react if i saw her bullying YOU

@R.D she fucked up my mind too much, same with my ex did those two bitches are best friends🙄

@R.D "they are just such a good duo.. to kill someones trust and pride"🙄🙄🙄(sarcasm. lol)

@R.D if it wouldnt be possible for me to contact u on other apps i would never leave

@R.D i'm pretty sure u can log into one of the following apps i wrote to u on the websites( craft addons will have to be downloaded)

@R.D but guess what craft addons there u can chat privately we dont have to worry anyone will see our messages

@R.D same with pinterest

@R.D wattpad and quotev will be exposed cause u can chat only in the comments like here in incolor

@R.D Putin? like the Russian president? i couldn't understand half what u said but something tells me its shocking

@R.D if u want to talk privately with my its best if u download craft addons there u can even send short videos and voice messages

@R.D and no one will see whaht u write other than the person u write to, u a even make a group chat

we cann make a group chat will u, me and Ashton (and sona maybe if she agrees to join)

@R.D my name is Rose, bio- i'm deadmy gf- Ashton Blaze. i have a really rose on my profile pic

@R.D if u cant find it look for 🔥 Ashton Blaze🔥 , Ash is the only one with such a name in craft addons

@R.D when u find Ash i should be in the comments

@R.D if u still cant find me ask Ash here on incolor i' deleting incolor today for good...

@R.D hopefully i'l see u in craft addons😊 bye for now

Victoria, i'm so sorry i must haave wasted your time..

i know and i always remembered about your headaches and i kept asking Ash to ask you if you did download it

i missed u a lot so i kept asking Ash to ask you about it

@R.D Ash havent replied for 3 days i wasnt screaming to you at all it was for Ash

@R.D i sometimes scream when i'm worried about somebody too much

y'know those ornaments they put on trees for holidays like Christmas or New Years?

well lets say your friend took one of those ornaments that is a shape of a ball and smooth, kinda slipper

and.. like, sticks it up her vaginal area. and it gets stuck and like she can't get it out

if that would happen to you.. how would you get it out, WITHOUT DOCTORS/PARENTS..

i'm not saying the 'friend' is me😅 just it's me 😬

@R.D don't worry I got it out after like 7 hours

i felt reeeeaaally stretched out after i got it out. dont worry iy was plastic

and i don't have lubricant if i buy it my mom will find out (i donno if my vountry even has that shit)..

@R.D i dont have craft addons anymore my Mom deleted it i cant have it till 28 of December if my grades are good

it they becakme bad i won't my tablet till January idk which day

@R.D huh.. is this the answer to my question? cause i really do think your my favorite write on WATTPAD

the way she writed her books was so secretive. but i dont think she is you caouse she studies i think in college/institute/university

but.. still her words reminds me of you. everyone calls her V

even though i couldn't understand all what you said still.. i' not a fast learner, my mind slowed down i stopped paying attention much to

classes

one thing i realized is that, well you know i keep saying i'm fat? cause i am i'm literally the biggest over almost everyone in my class

i was weighed by my school's nurses and turned out i am 57 kilo. but when i went on a scale which everyone says it's wrong

i was shocked to see myself as 73 kilo

if i calculated correctly 73 was around 160 pounds even more. 57 kilo was 125 something

i realized that i use to be slimmer. wanna i lived in Canada a was obese then i lost weight when i came to Uzbekistan

but then after i started wearing glasses i gain weight again then after my betrayal by my ex i gained even more

.

I' trying to write a new chapter for Last Wish. it's getting hard when i have such a writers block like gum stuck in my brain

i started the new chapter but can't finish it

and as i said i made a book of me and Ash in a fantasy of mafia

and i forgot to ask if you'd like me to add you into the book, if yes i'd have made you Ash's partner as assasins

i myself being the mafia boss(i'm being spolied taking the main spot for myself(*´ｪ｀*))

so if you'd like to join our book i'll need personality, appearance (not real if you don't want), last name(real or not ur choice)

killing methods, nationality, relationships(lover, friends, enemies, etc)

and i'll add any other characters you want (a friend, family member[not actual, i don't want to get in trouble for writing others without

permission from them])

i already have atleast.. idk actually (　｀□´).. but i know there will be me(Rose D'Amore) , Ash(Ashton Blaze), Orchid(Lana Sato)

my fictional lil brothers (*･ω･*)(Jordan, Kevin and Daniel D'Amore) Qsh's fictional brother (Alexander Blaze)

BTW i also need age from u if u wanna be in ma booky

idk why i said booky... u dont have to give me real age. like i myself is 19 as Ash is 18

i'm trying to keep my and Ash's age gap the same we are just one yesr apart(but i would have been happy if she would be older than me)

but its ok atleast i have a girlfriend(*≧∇≦)

and i have one thing, i will make Last Wish and this book Rose Ashes a collabed book kinda

this new chapter in Last Wish i putted the name D'Amore in it so i'm thinking to make Rose and Valentino enemies

can a country have more than one mafia?

nationality Ash: italian(same with his brother) me: American(brothers aswell)

justf leaving that last message just incase i forget. i already forgot like two of my characters which suppose to be oler brothers for me

@R.D ok look, my dyslexia is getting out of hand really. Can i have just a straight up yes or no answer?

i need it for my book cause as i said i'm collabing my books i already collabed 2 books in to Last Wish

Last Wish- Rose Ashes and something else. i still didn't think of the name fir the other book

though i got the starting of it, Valentino from Last Wish will have 3 siblings two lil brothers and a lil sister

be right back

i finally figured out how should Carla die, she'll be a spy from the italian mafia and she'd had spy on Valentino

after Val found out about Carla he'd kill her and thats when Gia will enter the american mafia so she can get revenge on Val

And Gia's husband would get killed 8 months after Carla's dies

i donno how Dante(Gia's husband) should die though either get killed or die from cancer either one

@R.D this doesn't have to be exactly the same in real life rules NEVERMINDDDD i'll just write without asking

@R.D i just hope i won't drop it( ´-｀)

i can't remember her saying no.. but i never remembered if she said yes

i'm the one who started it, i sended a puc of myself in my top than i said 'can you send me one now(if you want' or sm

i always said 'if you want' to her i think

its not like i wanted to truamatize, or assault, or harass or abuse her just.

i'm a bit weird in my mind like i said i lost MY virginity at 11 i was running around with a FUCKED brain at 9 years old

i knew what humping meant at 9 years, 10 years i was fucking done i was watching porn like some needy asshole

wanting my ass to get fucked by some nonsense

don't get me started at age 11, 12 same problem as 10

and fucking 13. I'm sitting fucking my ass harder than algebra

with fucked up brain of course i'll be a fucking pedophile! why didn't i realize that sooner. fucking idiot am i

i'm not made to be the boyish on in our relationship between me and Ash. I'm sensitive, i'm dumb

i can't do anything. i can't even write without anybody giving me advice in how i fucking should write

I can't even be a normal girlfriend. I can't even be a normal friend

i always wake up with the thought of someone appreciate me, no one person was with me, it made me jealous and selfish

it made me an idiot

it made me careless, useless

i'm not trying to throw my glass at someone else, i'm just explaining

explaining so You won't think i am trying to throw my glass at your head

i love Ash. But realizing i did something that i can't even clearly remember to her

and having this strong feeling she hates me and is lying to me makes me throw myself away from her

now this fucking topic makes me think. did i also do the same to Orchid? to my fucking ex who i know hated me

she was talking behind my back, telling shit about me, cheated twice with the same person, acting cold

i can't take such a personality i can't love someone whos so cold, so uncaring, doesnt love me, it makes me feel sick

sick, i mean headaches, stress, depressed, anxiety

i already said too much if i say more this all will be throwen to the 7th skys

I'm explaining, not throw my glass at your head.

i raped myself, there is that a good fucking answer? i'm pretty sure i told you, i fucked myself, I took my virginity away

well i mean-

biys in my class started it fucking my brains putting the word 'sex' into my brain and since i'm a curious person

i googled it

thats how i slowly drifted to porn then one day in the bathroom i decided to gently fuck myself

i kinda regret it, i kinda don't. I'm not a virgin so it gives me some sort of dominant behavior.

but when i regret, i regret when i'm fucking myself, sometimes or before i start fucking

i regret about my virginity lose so hard sometimes i can't even understand if i'm regreting

thats the problem! i don't really like children.. Orchid was 15 when i dated her, 13 i was so what 2 years apart?

i'm not good in math

when i found out i'm kesbian i found out i'm attracted to older fe ales, like five years older than me or more

probably your age females. (i don't even know your age and look what am i saying. you could be 50! joking your probably 20-30)

i prefer females with a boyish character, the ones always looking after the other one. that's what i wanted

and i'm pretty aure Ash won't be leaning to the boyish side especially when she's little, not experienced, YOUNGER THAN ME

this shit fucking my brain now i'm blaming myself that Orchid cheated on me

Orchid was someone that had a character i wanted, but than she became uncaring and cold

and i was blind not to realize she hates me. don't tell Ash that i still Love Orchid

i can manipulate, some people. I know how to manipulate some of my classmates, one of my teachers

i even manipulated with Ash i think saying i'd cry if she said something

like on that one post i said -Ash is perfect- she said she's not then in the end i told her i'd cry if she said she isnt

i don't know if Ash is perfect for me anymore, i again rushed to date her..

just like Orchid

i knew Orchid for 2 days than we just started dating same with Ash..

Fucking hell, V. i made the same mistake, i just realized i made the same mistake.

maybe i shouldn't have even start chatting to people online..

maybe i should have never even download this app

@R.D you trying to say i'm a fuck up after Orchid?

@R.D i ain't snipping anything from you..

@R.D how the fuck can i technically be a virgin

@R.D ah btw no i ain't deleting that message i sent to Ash, let the world burn me for me being a pedophile, i deserve to die

i'm not saying it for your attention its the truth

@R.D sure one will be the calm one while the other throws her glass at the calm ones head.

i won't, i have no willings to throw a glass at your head. keep your head you'll need it more than anyone

but one thing is, if i now break up with Ash and end up dating someone else, i'll not only have Orchid but also Ash on my heart

pulling me to the ground

i never thought i would be in more than one relationships, never thought i'd get cheated on

so your saying i will never be able to truly love someone?

@Victoria No, not at all. I meant that you need to take care of yourself, get your own life together, and you'll find that you won't keep

sabotaging your relationships. You hate yourself, hurt yourself, and realize too late that you've messed up your relationships, and with

Ash, you pushed too hard, and she's way too young to even know what a relationship should be.

If you are attracted to young, undeveloped children, which Ash is, and you can't stop yourself from pursuing them, then you need help.

More help than I can give you. If you're just confused and hooked up with Ash because you could manipulate her into a relationship she's not

ready for, maybe we can get through this, but you called yourself fucked up, and therapy would certainly help.

I strongly believe you should tell Ash that you're sorry, and that you realize she's too young for you. If you were able to physically see

her, and you manipulated her, and I knew that, I would tell the police, myself. Abusing children is a serious legal and moral crime.

Obviously, I only know you from what you've told me yourself, so I don't have a good grasp on your personal life, except your mom is strict.

I don't know your full name, or where you live, so I couldn't turn you in if I wanted to. This potential problem is something we need to

discuss NOW. I was abused as a child and I know what that does to a child. As far as I know, you've never done that physically to anyone,

which helps. With Ash, you already know you fucked up, and if/when you tell her she's too young, she'll lose you--someone she looks to and

"loved," and trusted, and will be traumatized by that loss. So, no matter what you decide to do, she loses.

I'm not judging you. I'm telling you things I know from experience and university.

I certainly don't think you've done anything except for having really bad lapse of judgement in a social media relationship.

It's not losing your virginity in the sense of being with someone else. Just busting your hymen isn't losing your virginity. Horse back

riding can do that.

As for deleting your comments in Ash's gallery, think of her. You don't care what happens to you, without thinking how Ash might be affected

Delete them for her. She doesn't need any more problems. All of this is just what I'm thinking, I'm not telling you what to do.

I wrote this yesterday, and saw your post today. I'm sorrier for you and Ash than I can describe. 💜💔💜

Please delete the comment in Ash's gallery that "Victoria made me realize . . . pedophile" I don't want that seen by everyone. I'd really

appreciate it.

just say you're only feeling sorry for Ash, i know you'.l never feel anything for me.

you now are all of a sudden 'sorry' for Ash AND me?! do you know how i felt? when you said you could tell the police about me?

do you know how much that broke my trust for you? i trusted you and now your willing to throw police at my face

I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE!! i didn't know i was doing something wrony

wrong*

and i made it fair, i started it off. i was first to send Ash a photo of me then i politely asked not demanding!

i don't demand. i remember saying fucking 'PLEASE' and 'only if you want'. I DIDN'T FORCE HER, I DIDN'T DEMAND IT

I DIDN'T FUCKING BEG FOR IT, I SAID PLEASE ONCE THEN I DIDN'T KEEP ASKING

i never fucking said i'd even TRY to manipulate her

SHE FUCKING LIED TO ME

for one or two weeks when we started dating she lied saying she was 16

thats why i got attracted to her! she had pride for her sexuality, she seemed good friends with Sona/Shino

she was OLDER than me, i talked with her. SHE POSTED SAYING 'LOOKING FOR A GF/BF'

she seemed very intelligent, quiet, funny. thats why i loved her then it faded away for a sec when she t9ld me she's

fucking 11!

i said i was shocked i lied being happy that our age was close. I was mad, sad. I got sad she wasn't older

cause i know someone younger is hard to take care of than older

i'm too sensitive(emotionally), i'm too dumb i cna't to do anything. This is why i always like older females

i like females who are like you, smart, funny, unique, one of a kind , older than me etc... but of course i cant date you

even if i was single i couldn't date you cuz u love someone else.

i could have left Ash. but i didn't knowing she'd be upset, which was a mistake.. i think

I had a crush on Sona from the beginning when i first came to incolor, we started off as friends she also lied about her age

she saud she's 21 but actually shes 18 which isnt bad like with Ash

cuase Sona is still older

i told Sona i liked her she pretend she hates relationships but really she just had a boyfriend secretly

her brother is strict so she kept it a secret

then i letted Sona go, then i met Orchid then FUCKING HELL STARTED FOR ME

btw what's oral sex? i know its part of sex but idk what it really means

i wanted to ask once then forgot yesterday when i read about u mentioning oral sex my brain seemed to stop working

my vison was black, my brain seemed like it ran away, and my eyes seemed to become waterfalls

cause thats how Orchid cheated on me by oral sex

she did it with her 'best friend' who i know isn't real, she's some person who makes roleplaying into real life (　｀□´) it makes me mad

she lied about getting hurt i cutted my hand for no reason for her when she fot hurt

Orchid once yelled at Sona for lying to me about her life and stuff, the next day she talked to me calling ,e some lovesick headache

me*

i didnt even know what she meant

then i started dating her, then my mom took away my tablet for 2 weeks till my school finished

then Orchid was all cold, she wrote on her bio saying 'looking for a bf' which hurted me

she was being very cold, it mad me very sad, i hate cold people

then this person named Sir dead (i knew her before Orchid) she was one person who once bullied me and Sona

sir dead told me to go to her gallery and to the comments thats were i saw Orchid telling sir dead that i'm

annoying, embarrassing, cringy and that Orchid wants to yell at me so badly

am i really that much of annoying? am i really embarrassing? am i seriously cringy?

do YOU want to yell at me for my behavior?

after that she said its my fault cause i left for 2 weeks even tho i never wanted to

so then she gave me a 'second chance'

then a bit later she came saying she kissed her best friend and what got me really upset was her best friend was a boy

i forgave Orchid which was a mistake cause then she cheated later on, and i was still willing to date Orchid

after that we broke up then she immediately 'married' her 'best friend'🙄

one day she then wrote to me saying thank you, when i asked for what, she said 'for letting me go'

i felt like sticking a knife in my head after reading that, WAS I REALLY TAMING HER?!

she could've just say she doesnt to be with me, I WOULD HAVE LETTED HER GO

fucking hell, i don't know what wrong did i do that made her upset

i grew up oblivious i was calling a pedophile 'daddy', my so called father was a fucking pedophile ready to fuck an unborn baby

(he didn't fuck an unborn baby just he had such a willing to) and he touched me

well i dont know if its touched.. he kicked me, my ass when i was younger sitting on the ground

i use to be really fat, clothes wouldnt fit so my back would be open a bit, he smoked, came inside from the balcony

saw me sitting on the ground watching TV so he came and kicked my ass not till bruising tho

and when i was a bit younger then that i think 5-6 he made me sit on his fucking nasty penis

with clothes on tho , he made me jump on his nasty thing, and i didnt even realize what was really going on

cause my brain was dumb at that time

the 'Victoria made me realize i'm a pedophile' is gone dont worry no one is gonna blame anything on you

your name is clean.

i know yourtrying to keep yourself white as an angel you seriously dont care if people find out i'm a 'pedophile'

but still i don't trust you anymore, not after you wanting to throw me to the police. Fucking bitch...

I COULD JUST.

throw a glass at your face

what am i saying, and what are you saying?!

even the world's best reader win't be abke to understand what we're typing

WHEN DID I PUSH MY RELATIONSHIPS AWAY!? i ended them, i am ending them cause they're becoming toxic FOR ME

WHAT I SHOUKD JUST FUCKING STAY WITH ORCHID AND LET HER CHEAT ON ME?!

SHOULD I STAY WITH ASHTON BLAZE THE PERSON WHO LIED ABOUT THEMSELF

I WOULD HAVE NEVER, FUCKING NEVER DATE ASH WITH SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS FUCKING 11

why should i turn in someone who physically hurt a child when no one did when i was fucking hurt?!

my mother was watching when my father sat me on his fucking male part

i run around with my mother, MY FUCKING DOCUMENTS ARE ILLEGAL. I'M A FUCKING ADOPTED CHILD FROM BIRTH

no one turned on my father when he touched me, and now i should turn in someone, I'M BEING TURNED IN WHEN I DIDN'T DO SOMETHING

that post was just drama i was being dramatic as always without realizing

"why should i turn in someone who physically hurt a child when no one did when i was fucking hurt?!" is the

worst fucking thing you could say. Why? Why? Because you know what it's like, and you only care about what

happened to you? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe Orchid cheated on you because you were pushing her away? Fuck; we're just friends

and you try to push me away. Think about that for a minute. Very few people have the patience and tolerance to continue a friendship when

they call you a fucking bitch. You take all of your pain and push it on me. But I'm an adult, and I act like one. I know

your pain. I lived through it, too. But it taught me to stop someone else from being hurt; it taught you nothing--worse than nothing. It

made you selfish in the worst possible way. Would you stand by and do nothing if Ash was being hurt? I doubt it. But to Hell with someone

you don't know? Please explain that to me, because I honestly don't get it.

So Ash lied about her age; you can tell how young she is by looking at her picture, so I don't consider that a valid excuse.

And the world's best reader could tell what we're saying, if I can. I understand exactly what you're saying. You might want to reread my

texts until YOU understand what I'M saying.

It takes two to fuck up a relationship. You can't put all the blame on the other person. You've screamed at me, told me you wish to hurt me,

with throwing a glass at my face, doubted my friendship by saying you don't trust me, and called me a fucking bitch. Yet, here I am,

still with you. How many people would still be here? Not many. Try it on someone else and see.

I know you're hurting, and I know you're lashing out at me because of that, so I just let you go on and on. I don't answer you in anger.

I haven't lied to you, or betrayed your trust, but you're abusing ME. How do you do that without an ounce of knowledge that you're doing it?

Or do you know, and you don't care? Or maybe you do it because you know I won't hurt you back? Or because you were hurt, and it's okay to

hurt me because of that? You need to calm down and think about what I've written.

WHEN THE FUCK DID I PUSH ORCHID AWAY?!

i fucking loved her i was fucking CLINGING on to her, and with Ash, Ash didn't show her face till July

much more terrible than now!

i'm selfish cause, i'm not realized by the people who i want to realize me, my clasmate got hit by a ball very lightly on the face

and every one girl went to check if she was ok. i got hit by a ball that was kicked and i had a nose bleed, how come no one cared?

this world fucking taught me, that NO PBODY will xare about me, so either i be fucking selfish.

or i rot from fucking desperation

atleast i'm not greedy.. atleast i ain't arrogant, atleast i'm not some pride ass bitch

unlike the others around me

do you even know my age? i doubt that you don't..

i run around this world fucking scared as hell, i'm scared of almost anything. so of course i was hell scared when you said

you'd turn me in

it was like a knife as my throat

so of course i couldn't trust you at that day

all of this right now is seeming like its gonna drown into nonsense in the end

i won't calm dosn even if i wanted to. I' a very angry person, i was 2 seconds away from ripping off a boys hair at school

just cause he kept bothering me about not bring some lil ass piece of money

you can call me an ill person, I call myself a mad fucking dog cause of my behavior

but i fucking swear i'll never calm down any time sooner if i'm mad as hell

fine, it's my fault, i admit it, i am being selfish, i'm being jealous, i' being angry, and i am abusing you..

i am very sorry for my mistakes, and i understand you won't forgive me.

I should have listened, i should stayed calm. i letted my angry get the best of me. you were right i should have calmed down

i'm very sorry..

Don't be sorry; you need someone to listen to you, and I love you, so who better? Life is fucking unfair. I had opportunities you don't, and

I still managed to fuck up. My family always loved me, but I hurt them badly because I was mad and didn't care if I lived or died. I

understand a lot of what you're going through. I'll always forgive you, but you haven't done anything for you to apologize for. I pointed

out that you were abusing me because you need to learn how your mere words can be hurtful. I'm not hurt. Clinging to someone can also be

abusive. "Stop smothering me" is a common phrase because clinging to someone can make them feel like they can't do anything without it being

something their partner is going to discuss, or get mad at. If you're feeling smothered, you'll do things, like cheat on you. Everyone needs

a little time away from each other. If David had interfered with my independence, I wouldn't have loved him. A lot of American women still

have to ask their husband's if they can go to lunch with coworkers, for example. I was invited to go to lunch when I worked in an

office. I said yes. They were all just silent and looking at me. I asked what was going on, and they said, We're waiting on you to see if

you can go. I honestly didn't know what they were talking about, and one finally said, You know, call your husband. I couldn't believe it.

They thought I needed permission from my husband to have lunch somewhere. If that were true, why in the fuck would I love or marry him?

I'd often text him from the restaurant to see if I could pick something up for him. Because of his past, we stayed in contact a lot, but the

thought of him telling me if I could go to lunch or not was ludicrous. So, being clingy is also a way people can be abusive. Relationships

are complex, but people need breathing room. If David had made me account of the time I spent

my time away from him, my marriage wouldn't have lasted long. People need independence even in a committed relationship. I don't

know Orchid well enough to make an educated guess as to why she cheated, but people in healthy relationships don't cheat on each other.

Knowing you the tiny bit that I do, my guess is that you were smothering her, by your own admission that you were clingy. That pushes people

away, too.

What are you scared about? Someone hurting you again? That you often feel alone, and are scared no one will love you?

@R.D i told you my documents are all illegal, my mother can be putted to prison. i'm scared to go to a hospital

cause i'm scared they might find out i'm not a virgin.

i'm scared i'll go to an orphanage.

i'm scared i'll never have the opportunity to become who i want

i tried my best not to be clingy with Orchid, just after so much yellings and coldness from my mother

i get attached to the slightest attention

i always keep myself in the negative zone in order for me not to become over my mind

i woould write to Orchid a bunch of messages, she'd reply when i'm asleep cause time zones are different

its like how i do with Ash, but i don't know what wrong did i exactly do, i bother Ash mor than i did with Orchid

i once sent her one message when she replied she immediately said shut up or sm

Okay. I wasn't thinking about your papers; sorry. Look into the legal consequences for this, if you haven't already. It may not be as bad as

you think. Maybe you can do something to become a citizen. I don't know. You keep worrying about your virginity. Lots of women have their

hymen broken by horse riding, a simple fall, using tampons, etc. I don't think this is a problem at all, but I understand your worry.

Do you have to show papers to enter school? Have they been used before, and no one noticed? How closely does your government examine

papers? How often? Tell me the country you live in. I don't want even the city. You're a minor, and should never give out that information

to anyone. If you've told me your country, I don't remember. Sorry, my headaches have been kicking my butt.

Uzbekistan.

my mom has illegal documents stating i am her biological child when i am actually just adopted

in Uzbekistan, lives the religion of Islam. Muslim.

and it shame to lose virginity before marriage

in our country

our country doesnt use tampons at all

if i get checked it will show that i've been touched for sure, cause my hole is way too stretched out for just a simple fall or sm

i'm also scared if my mom finds out i am talking with people online. You, Ash, Sona, others

@Victoria I understand the culture of virginity, but there are ways to fake it with a husband, but not a doctor. It's interesting, but women

have used it for centuries. Are you planning on marrying a guy despite your sexual orientation? I know that the Quran doesn't allow same-sex

marriages. At least, when I read it, it didn't--has that changed?

Have your papers been scrutinized before, like to get into the country, go to school, etc? If so, they're probably good enough to trust. Why

is an adopted child unable to move to Uzbekistan?

@R.D it's not allowed, at all, Quran is never changed. It will be very bad if one little thing in Quran will be changed

@R.D no, i am in Uzbekistan just my mother had illegal documents they were a lie, they stated i was my mother's biological child

and i'm not so it's illegal, and thats one thing that was scary is cause my mom actually traveled with those fake documents

i've been in many places, Kenya, Dubai, Canada

i cant remember the rest

all i know is Dubai, Kenya(my mom told me and showed pics) and Canada- New foundland, Alberta

i have very short memory i could forget something within 1 mintue

you alright? haven't seen you in my posts for 2 days already, kinda got use to you in my posts( ´-｀)

V. i did it again. i cuted my hand- the back of it with the back of my wrist. 6 times not deep but will leave marks for a bit

( ´-ω-)i'm glad i have a bunny otherspwise my mom would have asked where the cuts came from..

r u ok? u are already offline for a long time...